Happy Holidays! (And Yes, I Mean That Literally)

In our last few days slouching toward Bethlehem, let me pause a moment to offer my own brief thoughts on the “controversy” concerning how we extend our warm wishes this time of year. Never minding (much) the breathless hyperbole of the Christmas warriors over at Fox, I was ever so mildly disappointed to see the highly readable Jacob Sullum over at Reason pitch in his own two cents dismissing “Season’s Greetings” and “Happy Holidays” in the now-standard way—that is as lily-livered euphemisms by cautious Christians who do not wish to offend anyone. (Sullum’s column is otherwise cogent and well-argued, and I recommend it, as usual.)

I have always (as opposed to dreaming this up in response to the recent brouhaha) thought of these phrases as entirely straightforward and unrelated to political correctness. There’s Christmas (which should always be called such, not the execrable “Xmas”) and then, a mere seven days later, New Year’s Day. Um, hello, that’s two holidays. Two, as in plural. And two holidays that are essentially unrelated, New Year’s being perfectly secular. As for “Season’s Greetings,” if you throw in Thanksgiving, the slightly-over-a-month period contains three major holidays (here in America, at least) and is widely considered the “Holiday Season.” That’s all there is to it, as far as I’m concerned. When I was but a wee southern child, back in the free-wheelin’ 70’s, people were not overly concerned about offending Jews or other non-Christians, at least with something as innocuous as “Merry Christmas.” It’s just that the “classic” phrase “Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year” shortens quite nicely and efficiently to “Happy Holidays.” The only possibly valid line of critique I see here would be of the well-worn “what’s the harried modern world coming to if we’re so rushed we can’t take a couple of seconds to… blah, blah, blah.” To this I would say that there is grain of truth in it, and for what it’s worth I generally take the extra moment with friends, family, and colleagues to say the longer phrase—unless I happen to know that they don’t celebrate Christmas. However, if you consider the many, many interactions we have, for example, with cashiers, casual acquaintances and such, those few seconds can actually add up, when multiplied by hundreds!

It is certainly possible that in some quarters, “Happy Holidays” has taken on this PC role, but it isn’t necessarily so, and I steadfastly refuse to believe that there is a thing wrong with it. So whatever your sacred tradition, or lack thereof, Happy Holidays! And if you don’t appreciate that, to hell with you! ;-)